Two pugs. One great big world.
Our human calls me Watson-white-toes. She thinks it’s funny and cute that I have a white toe, and white under my paws. I used to have a white claw too, but luckily I willed that one back to black. The humans say it’s ok to be a bit different. So I might not win any awards at crufts, in fact they wouldn’t even let me enter, but who cares? This way I get extra treats and I barely even have to work for it. Plus, I get super loads of attention because I’m kinda tall and kinda different. I mean I don’t mind being different… But I wish she’d stop shoving that stupid camera in my face when I’m sleeping.
The humans say we’re awkward. Apparently they don’t think we can possibly be comfortable when they look at us sleeping in a pile. What do they know? If you ask us, there’s absolutely nothing more comfortable. Why would we want to sleep on mattresses when we could sleep on nice warm squishy pug?
She’s gone again. Not content with abandoning me and my shadow for TWO WHOLE WEEKS, my human disappeared again yesterday. At least she took the other little humans with her, which seems odd because she likes little humans even less than I do. She said was was coming back without them, so goodness knows what she’s going to do with them. Mind you, she said she was coming back last time. Just a few days, she said. No sign of her so far, so we pugs have decided to put a stop to these humans escaping.
Our human’s human was stretched out on the sofa. We reckon that there’s no way she can escape if we both pin her down. Seems to be working so far…
I’m not speaking to my human. She left me for nearly two weeks. Just a few days she said. You won’t even notice I’m gone she said. TWO. WEEKS. She has a lot of making up to do.
So the small pug has got not-so-small now. In fact, he’s kinda tall. Taller than me. Some may say too tall… It’s like someone took hold of his legs and pulled. I mean, the humans are talking about what if he never stops growing, but I’m sure they’re just kidding. He has to stop at some point… Right?
Greetings humans. Today I have conquered the food lady. She lets me sit at the table now, like the civilised creature I am. I drink wine and wait patiently to be served. I try to avoid putting my elbows on the table, but unfortunately my arms are freakishly long for a pug. The humans call me Dudley, and think it’s hilarious. Little do they know that the next evolutionary step is thumbs… Then we’ll see who’s laughing.
The reason I don’t get to post as much lately is because every time my human tries to take a nice picture of us, the small pug ruins it. Every. Time.
I keep telling her that it’s MY blog and so it should really be about ME and so she doesn’t need pictures of the small pug, but apparently I have to share. Stupid small pug. (He’s actually taller than me now… But I am still the boss)
Oh, the indignity of it all. The not so small pug is so uncouth. Close your eyes and put your tongue away, I tell him. I might as well be talking to a human for all the notice he takes. I guess I’ll just have to sit and suffer in silence. I’ll adopt my very best inscrutable look whilst I contemplate and pretend I’m a canine Buddha. Clearly, I have the wisdom and the wrinkles. I’m just not quite so bald.